The Purpose of the Eclair

I have decided that the only reason an eclair exists (aside from being delicious) is for me to bite into it only to have the filling shoot out the other end to hit my shirt, jeans, desk, important papers (thankfully not the same papers as the hot chocolate fiasco of October 25) and keyboard. I think that this was the eclairs way of telling me I should not be eating it. Well you know what eclair?! You are the only thing I'm having for lunch so shove it!