Destruction

Do you ever have a time where you are just in destructive behavior? I have been lately and it is no good. I am moving from my beloved Moscow on Friday and I think it might stem from the fact that I am not excited about this new transition in my life and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Now don't get me wrong you Utah people I am looking forward to getting back and hanging with you all again. But I am not excited about the bar exam. I'm scared to death of it actually. But as my friend Peter said "respect the bar". I will and hopefully pass. But I have been self-destructive lately and that needs to change. So here is what I am going to do, name my self-destructive behavior and how I am going to change it.
#1: SLEEP: I do not get enough sleep and I think its starting to show. Even as I am writing this its 1:40 in the am. I have an exam at 1:00 PM tomorrow which I'm sure you all are thinking of well you have 12 hours to sleep! Ha! No, I am so not prepared for this exam. So I will be getting up nice and early to get back to studying. The past three weeks I have been up until about 3 generally doing school work but sometimes just hanging with Trista usually. Then I get up early for class or to study. I need sleep and I don't get enough. So here is how I am going to change that. I am going to make myself be in bed by 11:00...starting uh Monday...I have some late nights coming up! But I will get better.
#2: EATING: I have been eating crap lately! Not only crap but I've been eating either not at all or really late at night. The past two weeks I think I went to the bagel shop here in Moscow at about 2 am two or three times. In my defense I've been trying to get my 11 bagels so I could get a free one before I move. I did it today though! Woot woot. But that's not an ok. So here is what is going to happen. I am going to eat breakfast, lunch, snackies and dinner. I am not going to eat past 9:00. Its just better that way. I also am going to get back on www.sparkpeople.com Its been too long.
#3: EXERCISE: Hello! You want to run a half marathon in June. You need to go running! I went running yesterday and did 2 miles on hills and it was sluggish and slow and just all around terrible. I haven't been working out and it shows and it feels like it too. So we are getting back to the running and gym. I signed up for 24Hour Fitness for when I return to Utah so that is encouraging. I LOVE 24Hour Fitness. If I could marry it I would. Mostly just so I could stop dating! Which leads me to...
#4: RELATIONSHIPS: Ok let me clarify, that should read *church edit* CRAPPY *church edit* RELATIONSHIPS. So I've been dating this kid for about a month...yes those of you that already know its been about a month. Granted he asked me out for our first date like a year ago. But I would have none of it! So he stuck with me not being interested until about a month ago then he just went for the gold and kissed me. So right whatever. Well things were going well for a while then he informed me that he has never done a long distance relationship and doesn't want to start. Ok you horses *church edit* rear end *church edit* you never should have started anything! Its not like it was a surprise to you that I was leaving! We knew this all along. Right. So I knew this on Saturday, was pretty perturbed on Sunday but caved on Monday. He came over to help me pack and I actually made him pack. He wanted a kiss good-bye and I denied! Then he came over again tonight. Anyway, so I know that this is going no where and its not good for me to let him think what he does is fine. But I am stupid/self-destructive. This relationship is no good. But I keep allowing him to come over and call or text. I am a girl and I don't like it! I'd like new parts please and then I could be an *church edit* donkey *church edit* and people won't care. They'll think its "cute" or I'm being "one of the guys" or a "you boys" guy. Gag. So here is what is going to happen. He wants it to end when I leave well I'll make sure it does. No more texting him! I don't care that you think I'm an excellent kisser you are just saying that to get more action. Well no dice! You are done champ. That's the plan. I don't need an unhealthy relationship.
#5: COUNTRY MUSIC: I have willingly, WILLINGLY put two country songs in my Itunes! GAG! What is wrong with me?! I hate country. I must be sick. I was also tricked! Tricked I tell you by Lars into getting the holiday sampler from Itunes...its free! Check it out. But there are like three country singers on there! I am also willingly listening to Rascal Flatts on Pandora. I think I'm coming down with something. No me gusta! So here is how we are changing this behavior! I am deleting Wynonna (that's sad that I even know how to spell her name), which by the way thanks for ruining "Silent Night" for me. I also will allow Rascal Flatts to stay but to counter my destructive behavior I will read from MyLifeIsAverage twice a day. Works for me.

Ok so there we go, we are making a change people! Watch out! I am adding this photo just because...taken by Jetta Hatch!